I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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