We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
