I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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