Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize