gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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