Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
