Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
