STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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