What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
