It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
