drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize