high people should be assigned attendants
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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