come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
