where am i from again
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
