I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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