its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
