You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
