I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
