Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
