well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
