Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
