I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
