For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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