all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
