This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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