I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wish my penis had a tongue
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize