the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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