I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
