Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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