You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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