You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
