i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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