Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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