i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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