if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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