I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
