This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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