who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
