508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
