it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize