One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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