i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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