A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
