I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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