bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
