so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
