Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
