That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
