Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
