did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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