woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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