So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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