if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
