Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
