i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
