we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
did you just send me my own nude
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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