i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
