i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
