i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
