dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
