I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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