also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize