Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
