I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
