Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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